![]() Love is not having to hold in your gas anymore.Love is getting mad at someone, telling that person to go to hell, and hoping that they get there safely.What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind.The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection. There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married.I couldn’t decide which one to get, so I asked the salesman, “If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend, which one would you get? He said, “A bulletproof one. I was in the shop looking for a jacket to buy my girlfriend as a present.I don’t know your name yet, but it must be Wi-Fi because I am feeling such a strong connection here.Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me?.I could never live without you.” My girlfriend giggled and asked, “Is that you talking or the beer?” I said, “It’s me talking to the beer…” Are you from Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.Never laugh at your significant other’s choices because you happen to be one of them.Everyone gets a share, and it’s only good in theory. Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven?.It is much easier to get in it than it is to get out of it. Falling in love is like going deep into a river.If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart.What are we having?” I said, “A pizza and a six-pack of beer.” I invited this girl I liked over to my house for a seven-course meal.Why do men like to fall in love at first sight? Because doing so saves them a lot of money.I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine. Let’s commit the perfect crime together.You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.Why do painters always fall for their models? Because they love them with all of their art.If you force it, you’re going to make a mess. The woman tells the man to say something to her that will get her heart racing. A couple are on a date at a fancy restaurant.couple are on a date at a fancy restaurant. ![]() And then there are some who I would love to punch in the face. Some people I love to be around, while some of them are people who I would rather avoid. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? My mother asked him what line he used on me and my boyfriend replied, “I just used a modem.” My boyfriend and I met on the internet.Olive, who? Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it. I do this by holding a mirror up to her face. I like to show my girlfriend who’s the boss in our house.As I sat down next to her I said, “Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?” She said, “Yes, but I wasn’t prepared to pay.” I was on a flight the other day and I found I’d been seated next to a beautiful young woman. ![]()
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